<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The courting of the lesbians by Cellothebandit (melchellington)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26658985">The courting of the lesbians</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchellington/pseuds/Cellothebandit'>Cellothebandit (melchellington)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, F/F, Fights, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mighty Nein, Mutual Pining, Weapons, himbo yasha, widowghast nascent nein sided tower</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:14:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26658985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchellington/pseuds/Cellothebandit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of imagined future Beauyasha moments ...from their first date..to being found out by the Nein...to Yasha retrieving Beau from the Salon after she fell asleep researching....to their first 'fight'.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett/Yasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>330</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Pre-Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Let the courtship begin? Yasha shows up with flowers. Beau answers the door all sweaty. </p><p>Aka: everyone has pre-date jitters</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Adding some prequel chapters to Midnight Snack just cause this scene popped into my head and, for continuity sake, it would have happened before.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As much as a nearly 6 foot tall, muscle bound barbarian can, Yasha flits about the foyer of her room collecting whatever blue colored flowers she spies first. A breeze brushes her skin where it is exposed in the scant practice outfit that she’s chosen. One wouldn’t think there is all that much to debate when comparing one black shirt to another but Yasha had found a way to spend way more time deciding than reasonable and is now running late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing the flowers as a deterrent for awkwardness was a last minute idea. She had been feeling a bit more exposed than usual without one of her blades handy and didn’t see the irony of showing up late with apology flowers for being late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bounds across the central chamber practically jumping into the levitation area. The movement is slower than she wants it to be and she taps the fingers of her free hand on her thigh attempting to diffuse the nervous energy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau has been making her quite nervous lately. There has always been an energy between them. For a long time it was like the far off flashes of a growing storm, but now the bolts were jumping back and forth between them every time they ended up near each other. It was thrilling but terrifying, like most things in this world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha leaps from the levitation circle on the next floor up and and bounds towards the door bearing the triangular, geometric mark of the Cobalt Soul. The time between when she knocks and when the door swings open gives Yasha very little time to practice her greeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I uh - “ Yasha tries to keep her voice casual but Beau is suddenly there. The valleys and peaks of her arm muscles are accentuated by the glisten of sweat as she lifts a plush cobalt colored towel to her neck. Yasha’s body locks up. She can’t speak. Or barely breath. All she can think about is replacing the towel with her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey Yasha,” Beau’s smile reaches her eyes. “Sorry, I was just, um, warming up a little.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha is lost in wonder about how someone would even warm up for kissing when Beau gestures vaguely toward the back room where her training area is set up. Truthfully, she had been pacing back and forth from the sitting room to her bedroom for the majority of the last 20 minutes. She had just landed a new double punch jump kick combo when the knock came. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that makes more sense.” Yasha answers an unasked question and Beau isn’t quite sure what to make of it. In her confusion, a handful of turquoise, azure, cerulean and indigo blooms are thrust towards her. They’re beginning to wilt haphazardly under stems that have been quite crushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These, uh, are for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Beau says softly and freezes in place then repeats the exclamation with a greater tinge of excitement. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she throws the towel into a nearby chair and accepts the bouquet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau hides her smile behind a wide, bountifully pedaled cerulean bloom. She closes her eyes hoping it will amplify the sweet scent and she is not disappointed. The perfume floods her senses and she wonders if Caleb may have poured it on a little thicker than necessary when he crafted the spell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When her eyes open, the color in her iris’s of comparable shade to the pedals in the bouquet are even further amplified and Yasha is frozen in place again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>beautiful. The desire to grab Beau and press their mouths together is drowning out all other thoughts. But Beau turns away to take a sizable drink from a nearby glass of water then places the flower stems inside. In her brief absence, Yasha takes a deep breath in through her nose then releases it through pursed lips in order to calm her blood. There would be plenty of time for rushing adrenaline and pulsing veins soon enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Yasha, that was very sweet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am very sweet.” Yasha pitches her voice up in an attempt to mimic Kiri mimicking Jester but the timbre is still too low and it sounds ridiculous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau can’t hold back her laughter but tempers it when Yasha’s face turns sour. “Sorry, that was...um...cute? Yeah, cute but a little ...well...you have many fine qualities but maybe imitations aren’t one of them?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha responds with a gentle laugh. “Almost as bad as Caleb’s ‘Elderitch Bleeast’ ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oof, no not nearly. That was just painful.” They share another laugh then Beau takes her hand. “Alright, alright let’s go.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Getting There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Who knew the trek just a few floors down or swinging a weapon around wildly could be so treacherous?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>edit 10.7.20 : changed the ending to better flow into the next chapter (wip)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beau takes Yasha's hand and pulls her toward the central levitation chamber. They leap into it together but then release their grip. Obviously, the Nein were onto them but they hadn’t even defined what was happening between them to each other so it wasn’t yet time to let other people know. </p><p>“Ugh, this thing is so slow.” </p><p>“Yeah.” Yasha answers abruptly, unsure about how to continue the conversation. They float in silence past the floor that her room is on and, as they enter the kitchen area, the dining room door opens. Veth darts out. </p><p>“Oi, hey there. I was just about to go looking for you two. Caleb wants everyone to eat together again...you know how he is. Needs that family dinner every night.”</p><p>Panic seizes them both and they exchange a look, “Fuck.” Beau mumbles to Yasha, “I’ll meet you downstairs. North door - ” then glides toward Veth and exits at the kitchen floor. Yasha continues down silently considering any valid excuse for not also exiting while Veth is watching her, expectantly. </p><p>“I’m, uh, not hungry. I’m gonna go - go do some reading.” Yasha disappears into the salon chamber below.</p><p>Veth walks to the edge to respond, “What are you talking about? You’re always hungry. And do you even know how to read?”</p><p>“Hey!” both Beau and Yasha yell back at her.</p><p>“I know how to read,” Yasha shouts from 40 feet below. “I love reading.”</p><p>“Name one book you’ve read that wasn’t mostly pictures.”</p><p>“Look the Xorhassian Wildlife book was very informative. How else would we have known about that hidden stinger on the last beast we fought?” She floats completely out of sight. </p><p>“Bah,” Veth waves both hands toward Yasha in exaggerated frustration then mutters toward Beau, “Ok, fine. Ruin dinner. Who am I to tell you what to do? I’m not your mother.”</p><p>Beau lowers her voice and responds somewhat sheepishly as they both enter the dining room, “I’m, uh actually just gonna grab a plate then head down to work on some new meditation techniques in the Great Hall. Tell everyone I say hey.”</p><p>Veth shoots her a silent, pointed glance then mutters something under her breath that Beau thinks sounds something like “ungrateful children.” But she isn’t paying as close attention as she usually does. Instead, she’s rushing around the room, piling a plate way too high with a little bit of everything available. </p><p>Bits of food are falling off the plate, leaving a literal trail of breadcrumbs as she pushes the door back open and jumps into the central chamber. She floats down and stares at the pile of roasted meats, vegetables, pudding, cupcakes, fruit and some kind of granola - or possible ground beef - in her hands. It looks disgusting.</p><p>“This is so dumb.”</p><p>She thinks of dumping it somewhere on the Salon level but decides that maybe they’ll want some bit of it later. The plate remains in her hands and crumbs continue to fall from it as she hits the floor of the Great Hall. Yasha is nowhere in sight so she heads straight for the door on the North wall. Stepping inside, she is greeted by a massive hall filled with a haphazard assortment of practice dummies. From squat kobold sized ones to a few the size of a wooly mammoth. She sets the plate down on a nearby table and surveys the weapon covered walls nearby. Every implement of destruction possible is available to them here.</p><p>Beau thinks about pulling a long poled, short bladed spear from the wall but wants to see what Yasha has chosen first. Surveying the weapon racks again, she doesn’t notice anything obviously missing and also suddenly realizes that there are no sights or sounds of Yasha.  </p><p>“Yasha,” she shouts into the room to no response.</p><p>“Hey, Yasha.” She steps further into the room and yells louder. Still no response.</p><p>“What the hell. Maybe she went into the wrong room.”</p><p>Beau returns to the front door and is reaching for the handle when it swings open suddenly. Yasha bounds through, clutching her shoulder, breathing heavily, a look of terror on her face. She slams the door shut and puts her back to it.</p><p>“Omg, Yasha, what’s going on, are we under attack?” Beau instinctively moves toward the weapon rack. She isn’t quite sure if they will work outside of the room but there’s only one way to find out.</p><p>Yasha takes a few deep breaths. “Owww, uhhh…no, no. I just...” she takes another more shallow breath. “I got stopped by Caleb. In the salon.”</p><p>“Oh,” Beau relaxes just a little.</p><p>“And..I panicked..I told him I had lost my hat. He wanted to get Jester to cast locate object on it and...I don’t own any hats, Beau.” </p><p>The pure fear in Yasha’s statement ripples through Beau’s composure. Concern about the tower being under siege shatters and, in its place, a cackling laugh bellows out.  </p><p>“It’s not funny.” </p><p>Beau is nearly to tears she’s laughing so hard. “Yeah…yeah it is.”</p><p>The laughter infects Yasha. A few chuckles rumble from her throat before they turn to groans.</p><p>“Ok, what happened there?” Beau points to the shoulder that Yasha is rubbing.</p><p>“Well..see. I wanted to make sure no one else saw me.”</p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p>“So, after I told Caleb that I suddenly remembered where I left my non-existent hat, I jumped in the levitation thingie and…”</p><p>“Yeah, go on.”</p><p>“It was going so slowly…”</p><p>“Yeah, I think you mentioned that before...”</p><p>“Well, I decided to just kind of jump out at the top of the floor and....I didn’t land so great.”</p><p>“Yep, there it is.”</p><p>Yasha rotates her shoulder slowly and frowns through the pain, “Beau, don’t make fun.” </p><p>Beau doubles over in laughter. She’s nearly on the floor. </p><p>“It really hurts.” Yasha pouts.</p><p>Beau straightens herself out, wipes the tears of laughter from her eyes and walks towards Yasha. “Ok, ok. I’m sorry.” She places both hands on Yasha’s upper arms, being careful to not push too hard. “Do you want me to kiss it better?”</p><p>The butterflies from earlier have fluttered their way back into Yasha’s stomach. Keeping her voice steady has suddenly become very difficult.</p><p>“Yeah, I mean, if you want to.” She shrugs a little too nonchalantly and that prompts another painful groan.</p><p>“Of course I do.” Beau removes the hand that Yasha had been using to rub the front part of her shoulder. She pushes up onto her toes and plants a quick, gentle kiss in its place.  “How’s that?”</p><p>After Beau rocks back down to her heels, there is barely any space between them. The scent of dried sweat, ink and wood polish that has recently become familiar to Yasha fills her senses. There is a hint of a promise of something more in the way Beau is looking at her. Yasha picks up on it and grins. “Hm, about the same. I may need more.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure you do,” Beau blushes then turns away. She reaches a hand up to run along the smooth, wooden shafts set into the wall then looks over her shoulder at Yasha. “Maybe later. I have some other things I wanted to work on with you.”</p><p>Adrenaline surges through Yasha’s veins, amplified by her desire. It dilutes the pain coming from her shoulder and her movements become swift again. She is acutely aware of the game that Beau is setting out before them, and glad to throw her token on the board. In two long strides, she is behind Beau, chest brushing against her shoulders as she reaches both arms over her head. She pulls a wide bladed guandao staff from the wall.</p><p>Beau looks up to follow Yasha’s arms, then the path they take as the weapon is brought down between them. </p><p>“That looks pretty wicked.” The breath that caught in her throat when Yasha brushed up against her is finally released. The words come out more erratic than she had hoped but Yasha is too preoccupied with the blade to pay attention.</p><p>Yasha takes a short step back while turning it over every which way to test the weight. With a smirk and a wink toward Beau, she rushes towards the nearest test dummy, a squat wide torsoed chunk of solid wood that stood at a similar height to her with a head like sphere carved at the top. With one swift move she easily slices up through an area one would imagine a shoulder to be and clean through the head . The chunk of solid wood lands on the floor with a dull thud, kicking up a small dust of sand. A moment later, it disappears and the dummy is replaced with a clean copy. </p><p>“Hm, yeah, you could say that.” Yasha turns the guandao blade toward the ground then looks to the many targets before her, mapping out a path of mass destruction.</p><p>Beau coughs lightly to regain her focus and pulls a quarterstaff outfitted with adamantium spikes at both ends from the collection. She joins Yasha at her side quickly. “Alright. Let’s get to work.”</p><p>The time passes quickly as they work together to cause as much havoc as they possibly can. They work through most of the available weaponry. Beau sticks to staves but also ventures into the world of shorter bladed polearms like spears and javelins. She didn’t have a lot of experience with thrown weapons but watching the serrated tip of a sharktooth javelin sink into the hay stuffed torso of a practice dummy is more satisfying than she had expected. </p><p>Yasha runs through the gamut of bladed weapons from palm sized daggers to polearms nearly twice her height. She is enjoying the reach that long staffed blades like the halberd and glaive give her and easily imagines herself becoming a whirling dervish of deadly steel on the battlefield. They both try a few varieties of bows but mutually agree the subtlety and lack of feeling the direct impact of a strike dampens the appeal. </p><p>Movements are clumsy at first, resulting in an abundance of near misses and light grazes. Before long, Beau’s practice garments are showing a spotty collection of reddish splotches and a similar collection of deep, red welts are popping up over Yasha’s skin. Of course, an apology follows each one - if the perpetrator is even made aware - but it doesn’t deter their desire to continue. </p><p>As they proceed, a comfort grows, with their weapons and each other. They begin to share their own experience. Yasha shows Beau what to do if the bladed or spike end of her staff gets stuck inside a body part. Beau shows Yasha how to grip and swing wooden shafted weapons to get optimal force when making contact with a target. They learn from each other quickly and soon their movements together are as fluid as the stream of sweat dripping from exposed skin and hitting the sand below their feet. </p><p>They’re not sure how much time had passed before they hit a point of exhaustion where their bodies become clumsy again. Either Beau is unable to pull away in time, or the path of Yasha’s blade is not as certain as she predicted and it bites into the top layer of Beau’s skin, just above the hip bone. Deep red begins to flood the waistline of her pants. Beau let’s out a pained shout. </p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry.” Yasha drops the glaive she had been holding and reaches out to catch a faltering Beau. “Shit shit shit.”</p><p>Beau sucks a breath in through gritted teeth, “Shit, it’s ok. It’s not that deep. It just took me by surprise." She releases the breath and takes in another sharp one "plus it’s stinging from my gods’ damn sweat.”</p><p>Yasha flings the arm opposite the gash over her shoulder and helps Beau toward the designated stretching area, setting her down on a wooden stool. Beau pulls the top band of her pants down with her free hand to relieve that pressure then grabs a nearby towel to clear off the blood and sweat. Yasha eyes are locked on the towel as more and more of the tan colored material turns to a dark red. Flashes of their encounter in the Chantry only weeks ago cause her mind and body to stall. A familiar dread begins to float towards the edges of her consciousness.</p><p>Beau is pressing the towel to the wound. When she pulls it away, the trickle of blood has greatly diminished. "See, it's not that bad?" She smiles up at Yasha, full of sincerity.</p><p>The dread disappears almost instantly, forced away yet again by an open ended forgiveness that Yasha is still struggling to get used to. She returns the smile then silently places her open palm a few inches above the cut. A faint yellowish glow emerges from the interface of their skin and the flow of blood stops. They both watch the last remnants of the wound magically close.</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that.”</p><p>Yasha's hand lingers on her abdomen. She is leaning over Beau so deeply that she's practically bowing. Beau's hand follows the hard lines of the muscled arm up from the wrist at her waist. When it reaches Yasha's shoulder she uses it to hold back a collection of the white and black tresses that have been subject to gravity and are obscuring Yasha's face. Beau can see her nostrils flare slightly with each inhale. They are so close together that the warm air of her exhale passes over Beau's partially open lips. Her eyes are intense with a brand of anticipation only slightly different than the one that accompanies a brewing battle. The flush in her cheeks hasn't subsided any and, in fact, seems to be deepening. Her smile curls into a half crooked smirk.</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>Beau returns the smirk, a playful glint in her eye. “If I didn’t know you better," Beau sits up on the stool prompting Yasha to uncurl a bit and allowing her hair to fall back to her shoulders. Beau's hand finds a new resting place on the front of Yasha's shoulder. "I might think you did that on purpose just so you could take care of me.”</p><p>Yasha shrugs, “Hm, but you do know me. I would never hurt you on purpose."</p><p>"Mm, well what if I asked you too?" The question comes out as an impulse and Beau isn't quite sure if she actually means it or not. </p><p>It takes a moment for the implication of the question to hit Yasha and her cheeks flush a bright red when it does. She squints at Beau attempting to clarify her seriousness but finds little indication either way.</p><p>Beau breaks the silence quickly with a nervous laugh, "Ha, maybe that's a conversation for a different time." She pulls away from Yasha in a moment of embarrassment and busies herself with retrieving a cup of water from a nearby barrel. </p><p>"Maybe," Yasha offers gently after another moment of stunned, silent contemplation. Her voice is barely above a whisper.</p><p>"Maybe?"</p><p>Beau nearly chokes on the large drink of ice cold water she's just taken. She turns around to find Yasha moving slowly toward her. </p><p>"Yeah," Yasha shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe, under the right circumstances." She takes the cup from Beau, finishes it in a few large gulps then tosses the cup backward over her shoulder. Neither of them are paying attention to where it lands. She wipes the water from her lips then brings her hand up to tuck a loose strand of dark brown hair behind Beau’s ear. She uses her thumb to draw a line along Beau's jaw from ear lobe to chin. A warmth floods Beau's body, beginning at the place where Yasha is holding onto her chin.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Mmhm...like you said, I want to take care of you." Yasha releases Beau's chin, moving the hand to her hip instead. Beau keeps her chin raised, right where Yasha had left it. Her breath hitches in her throat as Yasha takes a half a step forward and bends her head down again but pauses a few inches away. "If that's ok with you?"</p><p>Beau gives the slightest but quickest of nods and their lips are about to meet when a voice suddenly penetrates her mind. "Beau, where are you? Are you with Yasha?  What are doing? Are you two kissing? You're missing a really good dinner. Caleb has something -"</p><p>"Fuck," Beau grumbles then twists away. "Fucking gods' dammit Jester." Beau yells then points at her skull which immediately quells the sudden look of concern on Yasha's face. Beau turns away from Yasha but doesn't try too hard to conceal her response. "We talked about this. No sending unless its an emergency. Now's not a good time. Tell Caleb to go fuck himself."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>FYI - the next chapter does not follow directly after this one but filler ones are coming soon</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Beau and Yasha are missing at dinner and their stories don't quite line up. The Nott The Best Detective Agency is on the case!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Veth watches Beau leave the dining room. She doesn’t believe Beau’s excuse for a second and thinks about attempting to stealthily follow. But she feels a small tug at her sleeve and looks down to find a tiny halfling hand wrapped around the pale yellow cloth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom, mom, mommy,” Veth isn’t sure how long Luc had been asking for her attention and she finds a small comfort in the fact that she has become so used to his presence that she is able to occasionally ignore him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, dear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy says I can’t have cupcakes until I eat the gross peas but Auntie Jester always says I can eat cupcakes first if I want and I think she’s right, not daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth smiles at him and is prepared to agree wholeheartedly when Yeza clears his throat and speaks up from across the table. “Luc, honey, remember, if you want to grow up strong and fast like your momma, you need to eat something other than cupcakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to Veth, expression fully projecting his hope for a supportive response. She reluctantly obliges, “Listen to your father Luc. He’s very smart. Way smarter than Jester.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s way smarter than Jester?” Fjord pushes through the dining room door with the blue skinned tiefling in question following closely behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, who’s smarter than me?” Jester immediately heads toward the buffet table that holds an endless collection of baked goods. She piles a plate high with an assortment of danishes, cupcakes, cookie bars and cinnamon buns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no one,” Veth attempts to dismiss their questions with a wave of her hand but Luc interrupts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mommy says that daddy is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth laughs nervously, “Oh kids say the darndest things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord takes the chair next to Yeza, leans back in it and crosses his arms, “Now, maybe I should have Jester check my hearing but I swear those words came from you, not sweet little Luc?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A panicked grumbling noise came from Veth, “W-well see..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok Veth.” Jester heads to the seat next to her, handing Luc a bear claw almost as big as his head on the way. “I know your daddy is smarter than me, Luc.” She shoots Yeza a quick wink as she takes her place at the table then shoves half a blackberry muffin in her mouth.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth’s reply is interrupted by the door to the dining room opening again. Caduceus’ tall fram ducks as it crosses the threshold and Caleb peek out from behind his shadow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good we are all here. I’ve found something I think -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester interrupts him, “Um, Beau and Yasha aren’t here.” The words come out mumbled and bits of half chewed muffin fly across the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb blinks at her, processing the information. “Oh yes. I just saw Yasha, she should be on her way. Where’s Beau?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, she made up some excuse about working on her monk stuff.” Veth gestures toward the door then turns to Luc, “c’mere,  Luc-ey, you got some schmutz.” She grabs a napkin and starts wiping at his face then adds, “Oh and Yasha said she was reading.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reading?” Fjord brings a piece of steak to his mouth and regards it for a moment before popping it in. “Does she even know how to read?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I said.” Veth dips the napkin in a cup of water to help get the last sticky bits of icing off Luc’s face and Jester shoots them both a scolding look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be mean. Yasha is a very good reader. Remember when she read that sexy book that made her stronger. Maybe you should read that book too, Fjord?” Jester wriggles one eyebrow at him and he freezes mid chew. He swallows the steak with a bit of difficulty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Fjord is sputtering a response, Caduceus turns to Caleb, “Mr. Caleb, if Yasha said she would be here soon, but told Veth she was reading where do you think she is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb shrugs at him then opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted by Jester, “Ohh, it’s a mystery.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She exchanges a knowing look with Veth. “It’s a good thing we’ve got the world’s best detective agency right here. I mean, I could just scry on her but -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth releases Luc and throws the napkin at the table. “Bah, that wouldn’t be any fun. We should do it old school. Track down clues, interview suspects.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Plus what if she’s pooping or naked…that would be weird.” Caduceus can’t help but join in the fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Jester shrugs in response, "I've seen her doing both."</span>
</p><p>A silence falls over the table as they contemplate this declaration but Jester doesn't seem to notice the oddity of it as she picks another pastry from her plate. </p><p>
  <span>Veth breaks the silence by addressing Caleb, “Alright, where was the last place you saw the victim?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't know if she's a victim yet?" Jester interjects through a mouth half full of pastry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh, well I saw Yasha in the Salon. But we can just -.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the Salon!” Jester stands from the table quickly and Veth looks towards Yeza.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry honey, I’ll put Luc to bed,” Veth pulls him into a borderline obscene kiss and exits behind Jester.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus chuckles, “Oh, I love a good murder mystery.” He grabs a handful of broccoli from a nearby fruit and veggie spread then follows them out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"-fill them in later." Caleb sighs toward Fjord and Yeza, “Well I hope there is not a murder.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sure they would message us if there is.” Fjord shoves another bite of steak into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luc starts banging a fork on the table and chanting “Murder murder murder” prompting Yeza to collect him and head back to their chambers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After they’ve left, Caleb turns to Fjord, “Should we go after them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord shrugs, “As much fun as it sounds...you know Yasha is probably with Beau and...well...I wouldn’t want to risk interrupting...whatever they may be doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb answers with a half smile and a raised eyebrow, “Ah, yes. Well perhaps we should provide them that clue?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord shrugs, “Eh, they’ll figure it out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester, Veth and Cad run through the stacks in the Salon yelling for Yasha. When their search is unsuccessful they try to interrogate the cat servants but quickly realize that no one is able to interpret their mews. The next logical course of action is obviously to search the rooms of the Great Hall since it’s closest. Landing on the second floor of the tower, they quickly spy the collection of crumbs that had dropped from Beau’s plate, leading toward the north door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Veth stops them and points towards the crumbs. “Oh, Beau must be down here too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester giggles, “You guys, what if Beau and Yasha are hanging out ... like... together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well that makes sense.” Caduceus responds. They both look up at him suspiciously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell us what you know, cow man!” Veth prods a bit too aggressively. Her Nott is peeking through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus responds, “Well, they were both missing at dinner….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah that makes sense.” Veth starts to follow the trail of crumbs. “Onward detectives!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester follows close behind, “Wait, let me send Beau a message and see if they’re together, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have time for that!” Veth yells as she proceeds towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester completes her message and quickly receives Beau’s colorful response, “Oh, she doesn’t sound too happy, I wouldn’t go -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth tears open the door to the North chamber and a fist sized object flies out of the room right at her head. She dives behind the door and yells, “Ahh we’re under attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"-in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus pulls his staff around in preparation to ready a spell. The object lands on the stone with a hollow p;unking sound and begins bouncing toward him. It rolls to a stop at his feet and he slowly bends down to retrieve and show it to Veth. “Ah, the dishware is rebelling it seems. I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau’s voice thunders from the other side of the open door, “...go fuck himself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth can’t quite make out what the voice that responds to Beau is saying but quickly recognizes it as Yasha. She bursts through the threshold, pointing a finger wildly in the direction the voice came from. “Ah-ha. We found you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Veth, wait -” Jester tries to intercede but it’s too late. She stops just behind Veth and Caduceus moves in closer to linger behind the both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Yasha quickly takes a step back from Beau as soon as she hears Veth’s voice. “Oh, hey guys.” She tries to sound casual but there is an obvious nervousness in her voice. “Did you want to do some training with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesterrr-” Beau’s eyes are boring through Jester’s soul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t me.” Jester responds incredulously then turns to Veth and whispers. “We should go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we solved the case! We caught the perp!” Veth’s excitement begins to temper as she takes a full look around at the rows and rows of training dummies filled with various thrown weapons and pieces of polearms. “Oh, I get it. Oops. We should go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth turns to leave but the situation hasn’t quite hit Caduceus yet, “Wait, did Beau kidnap Yasha, is she the perp?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, Deuce, we made a mistake.” Jester pats his arm gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau rolls her eyes at them all, “Get out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sheepishly exit and Jester flashes Beau a wink as they go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate them sometimes,” Beau says to the door as it closes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha steps up behind her. “No, you don’t.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Pre-Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yasha awakens to find Beau missing. But she has some idea of where the ever diligent expositor has gotten off to.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Yasha wakes with a start. Streaks of crackling lightning still spark behind her eyelids. The dreams are more welcoming lately but still manages to ignite a fire in her gut. The edges of the world are just coming into view when she realizes the feeling in her gut was more likely hunger pangs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Memories of the activities she and Beau had gotten up to instead of joining the rest of the Nein for dinner flood her mind. She instinctively rolls over to reach for Beau then sighs into the empty space. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha sits up, swings her feet around and reaches for the plush, black robe hanging on a nearby bed post. The underclothes that she had hastily discarded in the early evening have disappeared. Beau must have sent them off before she set off for the salon. She considers pulling the red chord and having them brought back up but her stomach rumbles loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, ok, let’s go,” she says to her abdomen then stands and pulls the robe on. The hood of the robe is large enough to accommodate her full messy tangles of black and white hair but her body still carries the full warmth of the bed so she opts to leave it down As she exits the room she pulls her mane up into a loose bun and the cool air on her neck is a welcome sensation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trip down to the fourth floor is quick but the levitation always gives Yasha a slight thrill. She enters the dining area with a smile on her face and retrieves a fresh plate of bacon pancakes from one of the cat servants. She doesn’t sit for her meal and, instead, travels another floor down while shoveling forkful after forkful into her mouth. They are fluffy and sweet and greasy and Yasha hums happily while she chews.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the third floor she spies her second objective for the night. A frizzy mess of dark brown hair cascades over a pile of open books. The body below it is expanding and contracting gently then shifts as it lets out a loud snore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha’s smile deepens as she approaches. She places the plate down softly then moves her hand to tickle the patch of shaved hair behind Beau’s ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beau...Beauregard,” Yasha whispers gently. She’s standing as far away as possible due to Beau’s penchant for sometimes reacting violently to being woken up. Luckily, this time she stirs slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m..I’m awake.” She mumbles into the book below her then sits up, wiping a bit of drool from the side of her mouth. As soon as her eyes focus on Yasha, she easily matches the smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Yasha says softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Beau looks down at the books. “I was just...you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau’s cheek is flush and marked with red lines from the pressure of using a book as a pillow. Her eyelids are still heavy and strands of loose hair hang haphazardly over her face. Yasha wants to spend an infinite amount of time telling her just how beautiful she is but only offers the suggestion that they should get back to bed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry,” Beau stands and starts gathering her notebooks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize Beau. Your passion is one of the things I like most about you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha puts an arm around Beau’s waist and pulls her close. She tucks the loose strand of hair behind Beau’s ear then plants a kiss there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Yasha,” Beau’s voice is breathless and she turns to face Yasha. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I also like the way you say my name.” The thought of spreading Beau out over the table briefly crosses Yasha’s mind but she sees the sleepiness lingering on Beau’s face. She saves the idea for later and pulls away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get to bed, yah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau yawns widely, “Yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you hungry?” Yasha grabs the last forkful from the plate and offers it to Beau. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau nods eagerly. Her hands are full of books so she takes the bite directly off the fork. “Omg, Yasha, do those have bacon </span>
  <em>
    <span>inside </span>
  </em>
  <span>them? Oh, you’re definitely the smart one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha laughs at this and wraps her arm around Beau again. Their lips meet and Yasha relishes the taste of grease on the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau laughs.“Ok, I’ll let you have that one if...you carry me to bed. I’m just so tired, you know.” Beau feigns exhaustion with her voice and bats her eyes playfully. Yasha can’t help but agree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” She lifts Beau up easily, like so many times before and carries her out of the library. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau is nearly asleep on Yasha’s shoulder by the time they even reach the central levitation chamber. But the sensation of being carried by Yasha while floating is reminiscent of the flight they had taken at Rumblecusp and she perks up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yasha, it’s like that time -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha laughs, “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. We should definitely do this more often.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau nods into Yasha’s chest and when they pass the 5th floor, she spies the lilacs that mark Yasha’s door. “Wait, can we sleep in your room tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It just...smells really nice.” Beau’s voice coos with sleepiness as she hugs the books in her arm and nuzzles into Yasha’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha’s feet touch down on the hardwood floor and she easily carries Beau through the front chambers and into the bed. She gathers the notebooks, placing them neatly on the nearby table and helps Beau pull off her pants and get under the covers. She slips her robe off and moves to the other side of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau’s sleepy eyes follow her, “Hey, you’re naked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha slips under the covers. “Yeah, someone sent my clothes off for cleaning without being around to retrieve them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry. I just…” Beau makes an explosion sound and motion with her hand near her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.” Yasha places a kiss on Beau’s forehead and tucks her arm under her neck. “I like sleeping naked anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau nuzzles into Yasha’s side. She watches Beau’s torso expand and contract as it drifts toward sleep and just when she thinks Beau has drifted off completely, her voice floats through the air, “Yasha, thank you for coming to get me. This is much better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha hums in response. Sleepiness has spread to every inch of her body and the words are hard to form, but she needs to get them out. “I’ll always come to get you Beau, always.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A fight without fists</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Fights and fears and scars and feelings</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You need to be more careful.” Yasha practically snarls at Beau. In all the battles they fought together, Beau had never seen Yasha so angry or possibly scared. Does Yasha even get scared? Either way she’s taken completely aback. She was expecting to be chided, maybe with some playful banter, but this is far from a loving embrace meant to heal her wounds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh-what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t just run up to a creature like that, without any back up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, that’s um, my whole thing, that’s ou-” Beau’s arm shoots up to gesture between the two of them and she lets out a groan when sharp pain shoots up her side. “Ow, fuck. That’s our whole thing. We protect our friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and … I know you’re fast but ...you can’t take the big hits like I can. You need to let me go first.” Yasha's voice is still harsh, almost demanding. She brings Beau another cushion and places it by her on the bed. There is a coldness in the gesture and Beau feels a familiar but uncomfortable annoyance growing in her chest. She tucks the pillow under her arm and stifles a groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, no. I can handle myself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha eyes the large slash across Beau’s body, from left jaw to right hip. The skin is still raw and putrid, showing remnants of the striking sting that had felled Beau. It was the longest six seconds of her life, waiting to see if Caduceus' plea to the Wild Mother would be answered. She wasn’t even watching when breath finally returned to Beau’s body because she couldn’t bear to see it fail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha’s been reliving both moments over and over in her mind since they happened, along with the whirlwind of emotions that came with them. She’s beginning to feel like she’s going mad. But the roulette of emotion lands on concern in this moment and anger begins to fade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The knot in Beau’s chest squeezes tighter. Yasha’s softening voice is having difficulty untangling it. “What does that mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You died Beau. You were dead.” Yasha growls again. The progress toward softness has stalled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau cuts her off, “Yeah, but I’m back. I’m fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha takes a breath before responding and it helps untangle her own frustration. “Are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau meets this with silence. Then shrugs, “Yeah, just need to sleep some.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Beau, that’s not what I mean. Happy people don’t try to get themselves killed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau rolls her eyes, “I wasn’t trying..exactly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The frustration wells up in Yasha again. She paces across the room to try and diffuse it then returns. “You could have been more safe. You could have waited for me or Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau’s response remains ambivalent, “Maybe, but..look, I’m not going to let someone else die on my watch. Not after Mo-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve told you a hundred times. We’ve all told you a thousand times. Molly’s death wasn’t your-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“- You weren’t there, ok? you don’t know.” Beau’s apathy disappears in the frustration of being interrupted. The growing amplification in the volume of Beau’s voice causes Yasha to flinch slightly but she balls that up with her rage and tucks it into her fist. Her own fingernails dig into her skin and, for a second, she wants to walk out the door and never come back in hopes of never having to feel this way again. But this is what loving and caring for someone is sometimes, carrying their rage alongside your own. And Yasha does love Beau.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha pushes a few quick breaths through flared nostrils and manages to bring her tone back to a place of sympathy. “Beau, you aren’t personally responsible for every choice the people you care about make. I wasn’t there but I’m sure - ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, exactly. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> there.” Beau has not yet released her frustration. Her shout meets Yasha’s silence and echoes off the stone walls. Sadness floods the both of them. Yasha turns her whole body away, face expressionless, eyes fixated on the rug at her feet. Her voice balks with the full blow of that sting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair and you know it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau can see the worst parts of herself pouring out. But she can not stop it. The wound from Yasha not believing in her, even for a moment, stings more than the mortal lacerations bisecting her body. Her whole body is flush with rage and disappointment and fear. She barely hesitates in her response. “Well, life’s not fair. You try to trust people, rely on them but they leave you. Then what? You learn to do the best you can with what you have.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I didn’t have you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And I was doing just fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The familiar strike of a devastating blow hits Yasha’s core. Like countless others before, she quietly absorbs it. But she’s done retaliating. “Ok, you’re right. I was gone. It wasn’t always because of my own selfishness, but sometimes it was and,” Yasha shrugs. “I guess it doesn’t really matter why anymore. But, I’m here now. You’re not alone.” Yasha is gentle again, pleading for Beau to understand her concerns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>But the ball inside of Beau is still a white hot sphere of molten anger. “Well, maybe I should be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha opens her mouth to say something but rethinks it. “Fine.” She crosses to the door and opens it slowly. Eyes fixated on the door handle so that Beau can’t see the water welling up. “I won’t watch you kill yourself just to prove that you’re willing to. That’s insane.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe I am insane, just like Caleb!” Beau throws the pillow at the closing door and as soon as it lands…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...Beau’s body jerks awake. “Caleb!” The shout reverberates off the reflective surface above her bed. She grimaces then pulls the cord to tuck the mirror away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha stirs beside her. “Hmm, what about Caleb?” She is facing away and her voice is barely a mumble but Beau has pulled herself close. She flings her arm over Yasha’s exposed back and pulls tightly then tucks her knees up and burrows her head into the back of Yasha’s shoulder. “Nothing, I had a bad dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Yasha turns over and slips an arm under Beau’s neck then presses closed lips to her forehead. “Shh, it’s ok. Whatever ‘dream’ Caleb did, you can beat him up later for it.” Her eyes are still closed. Her words are slurred with sleepiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau thinks about explaining that it wasn’t about Caleb at all. That it was about...what </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> it about? She tries to remember the words, the conversation, the circumstances but can only retain the feeling of it. And that feeling was bad. Very bad. She didn’t want to feel like that ever again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She has a sudden need to tell Yasha every thought and feeling and fear that she has. She wants to let it all loose like a tidal wave. See if it can wash all this sadness and anxiety that she is feeling in every inch of her body away. But Yasha’s breath is steadying out. She has already fallen back asleep. It wouldn’t be a fair assault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, she grips Yasha tight and tries to match the breathing and promises herself to talk about it in the morning. Eventually the ache of the dream dulls enough to allow her to find sleep again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Beau wakes again, Yasha is already up. Gentle grunts are coming from the room adjacent to the bedroom and Beau assumes that Yasha’s having an early morning spar with the practice dummy that they’ve affectionately named Trent. This assumption is confirmed when a loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>thwack</span>
  </em>
  <span> of fist on wood followed by a grumbling </span>
  <em>
    <span>ow, fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>sounds behind the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau’s glances to the clock to see that it’s already past noon. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She pulls the covers off and a deep shiver runs down her spine. This was the worst part of getting out of bed. But, as she sits up, sudden, disparate flashes of last night’s dream bombard her mind. The shiver deepens. She shakes her head to clear the images and grabs her nearby robe. The success of both efforts is minimal. And as she heads toward the cat summoning rope a ball in the pit of her stomach and a lingering cold on her limbs remains. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another </span>
  <em>
    <span>thwack</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>ow, gods damn it</span>
  </em>
  <span> vibrate through the closed door. She shakes her head and smiles at the source while pulling on the rope. A rotund boy with medium length hair and orange stripes named Puck appears shortly. She asks him to bring them some tea. No. Coffee. Yeah, this is going to be a coffee day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is about to cross the room to open the door and check on Yasha when it swings open toward her. “Oh, hey,” Yasha steps through. She’s rubbing her knuckles and a broad smile grows across her face as soon as she sees Beau. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau sees the door close behind her and the imagery of the last lingering moments of her dream flash in her mind again. She rushes to Yasha, throws her arms around the sweat soaked torso and squeezes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha feels a shudder run through Beau’s body and it’s obvious something isn’t quite right. “Uh, are you ok? Did something happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau is silent for a moment. The desire to talk about it has passed. She wants to only feel the happiness and serenity of being in Yasha’s arms. She gives Yasha another quick squeeze before pulling her face up from Yasha’s chest in order to respond. “No, nothing happened. Not really. I just...had a bad dream last night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha sees the faintest bit of water at the corners of Beau’s eyes. She thinks to wipe it away, but Beau reaches up and does it herself too quickly. “Oh, yeah, about Caleb?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau hesitates to respond. The hope Beau held of being able to pretend it never happened has disappeared. She’s not sure she’s ready for this conversation. Especially before coffee. But she can sense real concern in Yasha’s voice and she doesn’t want to lie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Beau eventually answers. “It was about us. We were...fighting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, were we fighting some monster? Did someone die?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean, kind of. But no, we were fighting each other - ” Beau interrupts herself to keep from releasing too much all at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, like in a fighting pit? I hope I didn’t rough you up too much,” Yasha teases then adds with full sincerity, “although, I’m sure you probably kicked my butt with your magical fists and all. I tried to punch Trent a few times and that was not pleasant. I think I’ll be sticking to my sword.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha shows Beau the raw, scraped skin on her knuckles and Beau can’t help but smile at the reckless way that Yasha seeks out new experiences and information about herself or the world around her. Everything that had felt raw and quite serious started to feel so trivial in the moment of lightheartedness. Of course they would never fight like that. It wasn’t even worth mentioning. “No, not in a fighting pit either. It doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Yasha has seen a glimpse of some source of pain inside Beau and that reckless, inquisitive nature takes over. She wants to get to the source, and, if at all possible, help ease it. “You seemed pretty freaked out last night so it seems like it matters a little. Why were we fighting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau stammers a bit, trying to find a way to respond. It seems her subconscious has compelled her into this conversation. She realizes the reason they fought isn’t what’s bothering her. Dying, or coming close to it, and the sadness that would likely thrust upon Yasha wasn’t the worst part. It was the way she was acting - like a version of herself that she hoped to never see again but, nevertheless, felt like an eventuality. She shakes her head in an attempt to dispel that idea but it doesn’t work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha sees remnants of this internal struggle on Beau’s face. “Do you want to sit down and talk about it? I’ll wrap my big ol’ arms around you. You can even cry, if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau laughs at this, “Hey now, we know I don’t do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right of course.” Yasha kisses her on the forehead then leads her to the nearby couch. She sits first, sinking into the plush blue cushions, then pulls Beau down to settle in next to her. Beau sits facing away from Yasha, resting her back on Yasha’s chest while she wraps an arm around the front of Beau’s torso. Beau places a few kisses along the arm while Yasha reaches up with her other hand to rub her fingertips over the short hairs of Beau’s undercut. “You know you can tell me anything, Beau.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha’s touch helps Beau relax further into her grip. She forces a long breath from her lungs then speaks. “I know, it’s just hard because… that’s not something I’ve really been able to do with anyone before the Nein. Before you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha’s fingers halt their path along Beau’s hairline as the heartbreak of this thought floods her. She’s felt the same way, before Zuala and for a long time after…but she’s getting the sense that this concern isn’t about her. Beau shifts a bit below her then pats Yasha’s hand gently, “Hey, you can keep doing that...if you want?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha puffs a laugh through her nostrils and smiles widely. “Of course.” She resumes the movement of her fingers and Beau resettles.“Hm, I think it just takes practice. Like using a sword or a staff or - “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“- your fists.” Beau smiles and plants another kiss on the back of Yasha’s bruised hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha laughs again, “Yeah, it seemed so simple...you’ll have to teach me how to do it without all the pain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm, that’s just it, though. I had to go through a lot of pain to be able to hit things like I can. A lot. And that wasn’t nearly as hard as things like....” Beau hesitates but Yasha easily finishes the thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Like talking about your feelings with people that you care about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, why is it so hard?” Beau asks, with a trademark hint of incredulity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha thinks silently for a moment then offers, “I don’t know. Maybe because it can’t be controlled or predicted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, exactly. Like, when you’re fighting, there’s a technique to it and you can usually predict and react to the other person’s movements. You can see when they step back to puch or move their shield up or whatever...but you can’t see the inside of a person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well...you can but I’m not sure how it would help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau snorts, “You know what I mean.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha responds with a low toned rumble of a laugh and Beau’s head bobs up and down with the motion of it. As they settle again Yasha gently asks, “So what were we fighting about, in your dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau takes a deep breath then sits up. She thought it would be easier to look away for this conversation but realizes that it’s just another old habit that needs breaking. She turns toward Yasha, sits up fully, expression suddenly serious and fraught with caution. “You know what, it really doesn’t matter. It was stupid. But I was mean. I was really mean to you. And I hated it but I couldn’t stop myself, it was just h-happening. And I thought I was past all that but I spent so long pushing away </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> that I’m worried that’s how I’m always going to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Beau,” Yasha isn’t quite sure how to respond. She takes Beau’s hand again, gently wrapping her own around it while brushing her thumb over Beau’s calloused knuckles. “I guess we both have a lot of scars.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau nods in response then averts her gaze. “Yeah, maybe too many.” She tries to pull her hand away but Yasha refuses to allow it, instead pulling Beau closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Beau, that’s not what I meant.” Yasha brings her free hand to Beau’s shoulder and resumes the caress of Beau’s undercut hair with her fingertips. Beau can’t help but melt into the sensation.  “I meant that maybe we can heal them together.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>